here's to WINNING!

So like most people I haven entered my share of contests and won nothing. But I think my luck is changing! Today I won a DMM Quickdraw and a free climb now study later t-shirt from The Quarry in Provo, UT.

I LOVE WINNING! I ALSO LOVE THE QUARRY!


thanks guys!

check out their facebook page for awesome prizes and info on competitions and great climbing activities!

Relearning Friendship

I noticed I had this post back from April of this year and never posted it. After reading through it I think it definitely should have been posted. Not sure if I was waiting to add more or what. I think it's just fine how it is.

April, 2010

Lately I have been pondering what the phrase "true friend" means. I have run across a lot of people in the 24 years that I have been alive and all have either helped or hindered my life, obviously. Lately it seems a door has been opened to a completely different view of people in general. But mostly the people who I have held closest to me over a long period of time. It's those people both good ad bad that I am examining in my new "vision".

Once you become a parent things change, you sleep less, you party less, you think A LOT MORE. Both for the future as well as the NOW. You start over analyzing EVERYTHING. Some people let it ruin their lives, but others use it wisely and can learn and grow immensely from it. I am no smarter than any other person nor do I claim to be. I am just another "learner" in this world.

One thing I have learned for myself is that you can't trust people just because they seem "nice" "honest" or say "they care about you". At some point they will disappoint you, lie to you, or completely throw you under the bus. Now this doesn't go for everyone. There are amazing people in this world that are genuine, thoughtful, amazing people who are this way because that's just who THEY ARE. These are the people you wouldn't trade for the world. Then there are the "others". These are the people whom you learn to trust, who you let into your life and tell your secrets to. These are the people who may at times disappoint you but you give them a second chance because you feel in your heart they care for you and are there to help you in this life. Most the time it stops at that. You run into a few tiffs but things usually mend themselves through communication and you're back to being amazing friends again. Then there are the people who you seem to always have this strange "feeling" about that just won't shake off. The people who disappear then reappear in your life but have round about stories as to why. The people who leave you hanging when you need them the most, but are too selfish to see past their own needs.

**SIDE NOTE: this may seem harsh and the people reading this right now I'm sure are wondering.. "is she talking about me!?" The answer is no and yes. I'm not targeting anyone in particular but I'm also not leaving anyone out. I am just posting my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions and experiences. They are all mixed up in this post so that no one feels picked on or offended. It is not my intention to make anyone feel bad about things they have said, done, or whatever. If you feel bad it's probably true and slightly deserved. If you are wondering who I'm talking about don't bother asking I'm not naming names. Just sayin...**

The people who are amazing pretenders, yet they hide so much more than they share solely because it's a pile of lies with small hidden truths that wouldn't have hurt to admit. Bad or good. I feel I know more about pretending now than ever. I have finally seen what it's like to be the pretender and not even know it till everything comes crashing down. I know what it's like to loose the most precious people in your life, your family, on account of pretending to be someone you're not and pushing them away because of your "beliefs". Unfortunately I have been that person. I have hated, mistreated, and ignored those who were just there to help me and love me just as I was. The day I realized how much I was pretending was by far THE WORST DAY of my entire life. Nothing tops feeling completely alone smothered in lies, especially knowing you did it all to yourself. It's dark, cold, and a HUGE eye-opener. It's what I feel to be something similar to a "on your death bed" feeling. Because it does feel like the end. Like there is no way your or anyone can save your life. Waking up from that and trying to revive any relationships you may have left is INSANE. It hurts a lot to admit your mistakes. Especially to those you convinced you were strong and nothing could harm you. But the most to your family. It's hard to come home to strangers.

It's been a long road and I'm still on it. I've had to really think about my choices and the people I have brought into my life. I have learned that you can't EVER let your family go. They will be the ONLY ones who will always love you for the person they saw grow up, the person they helped shape, and the person who will also love them unconditionally. It's hard to regain trust with your family. But it's possible. It will always take time and you have to be willing to be vulnerable. Let yourself get yelled at by those who you know you wronged. It's gonna sting and bring back some ugly memories for the both of you but it's so worth it when you are trying to mend things. Granted not everyone is willing to give second chances and that's something I have had to face. But when they do don't turn it down.

HELP STEVE & NIKKI!!

I just wanted to reach out to as many people as I can to help this amazing couple out! First of all here is there story:

Steve and Nikki were married on May 25, 2010. Steve was the "back manager" at The Pizza Factory restaurant (where they met) and Nikki was just starting a position as "front manager" of a brand new Pizza Factory in a nearby city. With their combined income they were able to purchase a modest new home. Even though they owned almost no furniture, they were so excited to move in just a few weeks after they

(Picture of Steve and Nikki holding their newly-signed

marriage certificate on their wedding day)

On July 17, 2010, less than two months after their marriage, Steve was involved in a serious traffic accident when another vehicle made an illegal left turn at an intersection. Steve's motorcycle slammed into the side of the other vehicle.

(The picture at the right is a police photo showing Steve's crumpled motorcycle after the accident. You can see the medical helicopter on the road in the background.)

Miracles happened as a registered nurse was at the scene, a police officer was close by, and a medical helicopter just happened to already be flying in the area due to a cancelled pick up. One of the medical helicopter personnel said that Steve would have died from loss of blood within a few minutes had he not received medical attention so quickly.

(Picture of Steve in the hospital about a week after the accident. You can see

the stitches from surgery running under his arm pit and down his right arm.)

Steve was flown directly to the hospital where he was given 16 units of blood, underwent several hours of surgery, and almost lost his right arm from the shoulder down. He then underwent four more surgeries over the next nine days in an effort to repair the massive amount of damage caused by accident.

The accident caused severe damage to Steve's right shoulder and neck area. Steve's right arm will never be normal again and may still need to be amputated at some point. Among other injuries, his right pectoral (chest) and trapezius (neck) muscles, as well as two of the five main nerves going into his arm were completely ripped away in the accident. The other three nerves running from his neck into his arm were also severely damaged and it's still unknown if they'll ever heal. He has very little feeling or movement in any part of his right arm and hand.

Just when they thought things couldn't get worse, Steve developed a serious infection in his right shoulder. After another operation and weeks of expensive treatment, they believe they'll be able to keep the infection in check.

Steve will need a great deal of medical attention over the next few years, as well as physical and occupational therapy for up to five years. He will not be able to work for a long time and will be hindered by his injured shoulder and neck for the rest of his life. Nikki's work schedule has been and will continue to be interrupted as she cares for her new husband. Just paying their normal bills has become a real challenge for them, let alone paying for the massive amount of medical bills they're getting literally every week.

(Picture of Steve and Nikki sharing a light moment

together about a month after the accident.)

Why They Need Your Help

It is estimated that medical and therapy expenses could exceed $1 million over the next few years. Just before the accident the newly married couple was in the process of getting health insurance, but the paperwork wasn't completed in time. Car insurance from both drivers isn't going to cover nearly enough. Needless to say, they need help if they are going to pay the bills, give Steve the ongoing medical attention and therapy he needs, and keep from filing for bankruptcy at such a young age.

Please join us in helping them overcome this rough start in their young marriage by donating whatever you feel comfortable with. Whether you donate a little or a lot, it could go a long way towards helping Steve and Nikki get through this difficult time.

All donations are managed via PayPal, so they're safe and secure.

Thank you and God bless!

They need your help now more than ever! If anyone has ever been in the hospital for even a day or two you know that those bills aren't cheap. We are giving our every effort to help them out as much as we can!

Here are a few ways YOU can help too!

1. Send an email to others in your address book. Feel free to copy and paste this sample email text to help you craft the email you send.
2. If you received an email from us inviting you to donate, simply forward that email to others in your address book.
3. Send an email and include this Website address: http://HelpSteveAndNikki.com.
4. Become a fan on Facebook.
5. Include a link to this website on your Facebook page: http://HelpSteveAndNikki.com.
6. Send a "Tweet" via Twitter about this Website.
7. Include this Website in any blogs or forums you participate in.
8. Go to http://www.aizadesigns.com/HS&N_shirts.htm and purchase a shirt or bracelet

Thank you to those who have already donated or bought merchandise to help out. We appreciate everyone's support!

a few words

why can't people just be who they are?

why do they have to fear the repercussions of another person's judgment?

How can you live in a life half played?


"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep” - Edgar Watson Howe

when is it too much, too long, to keep the secret so hidden that you cannot live happily and freely in all aspects of your life?

BE FREE

BE YOURSELF

I'm still going to love you relentlessly, that's what friends are for!

MY LACK OF BLOGGING

So Brittany was nice enough to inform me of the fact that I'm a complete slacker when it comes to this damn blog.

So I checked it today to see just how long ago I had blogged. SHE WAS RIGHT. My last post was about our journey to San Diego and wow that was forever ago!

So an update: There is a new blog to follow my little growing family. (not growing currently) here's the link to that one. It will be private after 30 days to once that time comes I will be asking for emails or just stealing them from facebook pages to ensure I stay popular.

There is also a link to the blog for AIZA-Deisgns to keep tabs on new designs, specials, and fun contests and amazing art.

Ok so since San Diego a LOT has happened. Too much to make individual blogs about. So for those who missed out on what happened since then, too bad. The rest already know and those are the important people anyway. Don't get offended, if you do, re-read the disclaimer at the beginning of this blog. The End.